Oh, wait. I forgot. Those people have actual problems.
I’m from a “third world country” and to add to that I’m from a very conservative predominantly Muslim country. I’m about to drop a BOMB SHELL on you, bro.
There are gay people. There are genderqueer people. There are trans* people. But they can’t be open about it for the most part because they may even be shunned by their own family. We are all products of our society and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with exploring yourself and your feelings and your identity.
If it’s safe and you can share it why the fuck not? Because if someone has the audacity to put a name to their identity then we can’t deal with poverty or racism?
No shut up.
Also here are some more fun facts:
- We have internet!
- We have sex!
- I had a pet cat!
- I was a specialized education teacher! (And I’m a woman! WHAT!)
- We had feminism!
- We had hardcore and punk and rap shows/Music scene!
- Cable TV!
- Parks and playgrounds!
- Medical care!
- Cell phones!
- ALL THIS AND MUCH MUCH MORE.
All this and I’m still worried about silly things like racism, sexism and cissexism! And I still think you’re ridiculous and have made absolutely zero points!
I’m sorry you think we’re too primitive to know about gender identity.
I always did things that were too old for me. At 13, I lost my virginity on a beach to a boy I had only known for a few days. At 14, a boy I had known for four months, we’ll call him J, got me pregnant.
As most 14 year olds do, I thought I was invincible. Sure, pregnancy…
So I’ve been making a conscious effort to put the word “straight” in front of straight things the way people put “gay” in front of queer-related things.
That one straight guy
This was a good idea. Straight people seem to generally think it’s weird, but they’re kinda weird folks really so it’s whatever.
- don’t trust men who have to insult other women in order to compliment you
- a subset of this rule is don’t trust men who say ‘you’re pretty/smart/[adjective] for an indian/asian/[identity group]’
- or ‘you’re not like other [identity group optional] girls’
So, here’s a thing that happens:
- Person with a disability: I need accommodation x.
- Person with power: Oh, you have condition y! No problem!
- Person with a disability actually has condition z, which needs some of the same accommodations as y, but also different ones.
- But they’re afraid to correct the person with power, lest they think that the actual reason isn’t a good one, and stop being willing to do the necessary accommodation.
- And they’re also afraid to ask for some of the other accommodations they need for the condition they actually have, because then they’d have to change the conversation.
- Student with an audio processing disorder: I need to sit in the front in order to understand what’s going on in class.
- Teacher: Oh, because you can’t see the board otherwise! Sure, I’ll make a note of it on the seating chart and be sure not to assign you anywhere you can’t see the board.
- The student is afraid to correct the teacher, because they might not think audio processing problems are a real thing. Or the teacher might feel like the student lied to them, even though the student never said anything about vision.
- On a field trip, the teacher doesn’t realize that the student needs to be near the tour guide. The exhibits are large, and students gather around them and can see them equally well from any point, so the teacher doesn’t realize there is a problem.
- And the student is afraid to say that there is a problem, because the teacher hasn’t shown that it is safe to do so, and has given some indication that it isn’t.
So, do not be that guy. Don’t tell people what their disability is, or what their needs are. Doing so makes it harder for people to tell you what accommodations they actually need in order to be able to participate.
Instead, ask. Don’t ask invasive personal questions, just ask what people need.